Dads & Doulas In this section we refer to fathers and partners but do not intend to exclude other relationships or single mothers. Birth Doulas and Partners Not only does a doula support a woman during labor, but a doula is also present to support the partner during this time. It is important to remember that, although the partner is not physically going through labor, the birth is the partner’s experience as well. The doula tries to enhance this experience for the father by supporting him as well as by helping keep the couple as connected as they would like to be. The doula realizes that fathers may or may not feel comfortable during the labor. Fathers may not understand the events of labor, or how a woman reacts to labor and they may have a hard time seeing their partners in pain. A doula recognizes labor as normal. She is experienced and trained in childbirth and knows what to expect. She takes care of the details, thus allowing the father to be fully present in the moment. The doula helps the partner by allowing him or her to take breaks. She brings education and confidence to the birth process. A partner who is unsure about how to best support the mother can take cues from the doula and feel more comfortable about what to do and say. The presence of a doula often allows the couple to be more connected. Because the doula takes care of these details and provides other comfort measures, the partner can focus more intently on the mother. Some partners feel more at ease knowing that the doula has experience with and knowledge of childbirth so that he or she does not have to be responsible for providing information. In this way the partner can more intently focus on the mother and his/her own experience rather than worrying about all the details. In most cases it is beneficial for the mother to have more than one support person. With a doula present, the mother can lean on the partner instead of something else while the doula applies back pressure or massages her back if that is what is helpful during labor. People may assume that doulas take the place of partners supporting women during labor and childbirth. In fact to the contrary, doulas often enhance the couple’s connection during the birth. During prenatal visits the doula talks with the partner about how the two of them can work together to best support the laboring woman. They discuss what kind of role the partner would like to take during the birth and wants to be sure never to get in the way of the partner who wants to be close to the laboring woman.  |
 Postpartum Doulas and Partners During the postpartum period, a postpartum doula can help dads adjust to their new role as a father. When a family brings home a newborn, everyone wonders what to do when the baby cries. In addition, dads often wonder how they can help their wives adjust to motherhood as they are recovering from birth, learning to breastfeed and discovering their newborn's cues. A postpartum doula can be instrumental in providing evidence based information about mother and newborn care. The postpartum doula also helps a family get much needed rest during this notoriously sleep deprived time. Parents are able to care for their children with the reassurance that non-judgmental support and an extra set of hands are available when they need them. Through this support, the doula is able to help moms, dads and older children integrate the baby into the family in a loving, gentle manner. 
"As a first time father, I was concerned about the delivery of our baby. Even after reading all the books and taking birth classes, I still felt helpless during the first part of my wife's labor. When our doula arrived at the hospital (our son arrived quickly, so there was no time to labor at home), she was able to keep both my wife and I focused, calm and reassured, turning a good day into the most memorable day ever! In a world of $900 ultrasounds and $400 exams, it was the best money spent on the pregnancy and delivery of our son." |
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